Breaking The Habit
by Roxius
Summary: Lelouch and Kallen attempt to help C.C. break her obsession with pizza, but things end up going horribly astray. Please R & R!


Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass.

Please check out my AMVs and 'Family Geass/Geass Guy' videos on Youtube, too! My name there is "Hikasu3445".

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Kallen was walking down the hall when she noticed Lelouch just standing around, his back up against the door into C.C.'s bedroom.

"Eh? What are you doing here, Lelouch?" Kallen asked, "You aren't here waiting for C.C. to finish getting dressed up so you two can go on a date...right? Right?! RIGHT?!!!"

"Actually, I am here to make sure C.C. doesn't escape..." Lelouch replied.

"Huh? Escape?"

"You see, Kallen, I am trying to help our dear friend C.C. break her addiction...her pizza addiction. After that incident two days ago with that squirrel, it became obvious that she had a problem. By the way, autopsies show that the squirrel was pregnant,"

Kallen winced. "Pizza Girl without her pizza? Must be tough for her..."

"She was a bit rowdy at first," Lelouch explained, "She screamed at me using every curse word known to mankind in about five different languages. She even threatened to rape me. These past three hours, though, she has been unusually quiet..."

"Do you think keeping her locked up in her room is really all it takes to break her obsession with pizza?" Kallen inquired.

"Well, we did take Cheese-kun away from her, too...that'll help some..."

Kallen gasped, and exclaimed, "N-NOW YOU'RE JUST ASKING TO BE KILLED, MAN!!! SHE FRICKIN' LOVES THAT UGLY LITTLE DOLL!"

"Yes, that is true, but it also reminds her of pizza and how much she loves it," Lelouch told her, "So, she must be completely cut off from anything even related to pizza!!"

Both of them were quiet for a moment. Then, Kallen raised her head and remarked, "...Doesn't C.C. have weird crazy powers or something, though?"

Lelouch gasped, and he quickly swung open the door. The entire room had been torn to pieces, debris and fluff lying everywhere...and a huge shattered hole was in the middle of the wall at the south end of the bedroom.

"OH FUCK, SHE'S ESCAPED!!!" Lelouch cried in horror.

"WE GOTTA FIND HER!!!" Kallen proclaimed, and they quickly dashed down the hall. As they ran, they happened to pass by Rivalz Cardemonde.

"HA HA! YOUR NAME IS AS GAY AS YOUR HAIR!!" Lelouch mocked as he ran by. He enjoyed making fun of poor Rivalz every now and then at random intervals, even when it was totally unnecessary.

'FUUUUUUUUU-' That was all Rivalz could think, clenching his fists and shaking violently with fury.

Suddenly, as Lelouch and Kallen burst out the front doors and into the school's front yard, they caught sight of a green-haired figure briskly leaping behind a clump of bushes.

"THERE SHE IS, THAT PIZZA-CRAZED BITCH!!!" Kallen exclaimed, unsheathing her pistol.

"Whoa whoa whoa! You're...you're gonna shoot her?" Lelouch asked in disgust.

Kallen blushed and looked down at the ground in disappointment with herself. "You're right...I'm...I don't know what I was thinking..."

Lelouch smirked. "Hey...GIVE ME A GUN, TOO!!!"

With both students now armed, they slowly approached the bushes. Speaking in a fake Australian voice, Lelouch whispered, "Okay, shela...you corner ta buggah, then I get on 'em and hold 'em down! Crikey!! This bloke will be one hell of a catch!!"

"...Stop that, Lelouch..."

"Fine..."

Kallen ran around the left side of the bush, while Lelouch went around the right. However, all they found hiding from them was a small, handsewen doll of C.C. with a note that had the word 'SUCKERS' written on it.

"DAMN THAT BITCH!!! SHE TRICKED US!!!" Kallen snarled, and she fired several bullets into the doll, cursing over and over due to her PMS-induced rage.

Lelouch sighed. 'Damn...we need to find her, and fast! We can't let all those hours locked in her room, alone and unloved, go to waste!! WE CANNOT, MAN, WE CANNOT!!!'

Suddenly, Milly Ashford came stomping up to the two wannabe-lovers, dragging a whimpering C.C. close behind.

"...IS THIS THING YOURS?" Milly snarled, her personality nowhere near as cheerful as it usually is.

Lelouch and Kallen both nodded.

"WELL, TELL IT TO KEEP OUT OF THE SCHOOL KITCHEN DURING CLASS, THEN!!!" Milly snapped, leaving C.C. on the floor as she stormed off.

C.C. was curled up in fetal position, sobbing quietly into her knees. "I...I wanna pizza pie..." she cried.

Lelouch sighed and rubbed his furrowed brow. "...You want pizza?"

"Yes! Yes, I want pizza! I want so much pizza that I'll gain five tons and die of heart failure!!! I REALLY DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..."

Reaching into his pocket, Lelouch pulled out a small pizza keychain, courtesy of Pizza Hut. Waving in front of C.C. back and forth, he said in a monotone voice, "IF YOU GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM, I'LL GIVE YOU THIS DELICIOUS, TASTY, HOT SLICE OF PIZZA!!!"

"...Weally?"

"Weally,"

Squealing like a little girl, C.C. dashed back to her bedroom at a speed impossible for any normal human.

Kallen blinked a few times in confusion. "...But that's just a keychain,"

Lelouch snickered. "Hey, she's so delirious right now that I could have shown her that bag of your shit I keep under my bed and she'd think it was pizza!"

"Ah, I see what you did there!" Kallen chuckled, and then she froze on the spot, "...You have a bag of my WHAT under your bed?!"

"Uh...uh...IT'S TOTALLY FOR SCIENTIFIC REASONS, I SWEAR!!!" Lelouch cried.

Turning her gun on him, Kallen hissed, "You better start running, you sick pervert..."

Lelouch let out a high-pitched shriek and high-tailed it out of there, Kallen chasing close behind as she fired her gun...


End file.
